I Hate Flying...

I just got back from Columbus, and the Deltas gave me a wonderful reception. But flying nowadays is the worst. Over the past five years, I've flown about a thousand times, and I don't mind the actual act of flying. You could flip the plane upside down and it wouldn't faze me. But I HATE the layovers, the waiting, the expensive McDonalds combo meals, and buying magazines I wouldn't read any other time. Last night, I was coming back from Columbus on America West, otherwise known as America's Worst, and we didn't get into Los Angeles until 2:45am. I was supposed to get there around 12:45am. So I get about three hours of sleep, and then get up to finish up the last bit of the house before the realtors come by today. We're going to list the house tomorrow.

Today...

My painter went completely awol on me. He was supposed to finish up the outside, and then start fixing a small hole in my ceiling (making sure to not mess up my newly cleaned carpet). But after working for an hour, he cut out. Ghost. Gone. Adios. Not even a knock on the door. So I have realtors coming to assess the house on Friday, and my boy still has work to do. Making things worse, I leave for Columbus tomorrow for the Delta convention, so I have to trust that he's going to get things done right. Boy, do I hate contractors.

Whatever Happened To...

...Rick Famuyiwa? He wrote "The Wood" and "Brown Sugar" which were nice little films about black life that I recognize. According to IMDB, Brown Sugar was the last thing he'd done.

This Week...

Sorry about the lack of posts about writing, marketing books, or Friends With Benefits, but I'm under a hot deadline to get my house ready for sale. This past weekend, I spent it getting the backyard into shape. Over the past month, it seemed like my trees suddenly sprouted branches everywhere. So those had to be culled back. I've got to finish up today or tomorrow, and then travel to the Delta Midwest Convention. My painter has promised to get everything done by Thursday. Realtors are coming on Friday to make their pitches. So it is busy, busy, busy. And with a month and a half before Friends With Benefits comes out, I have a lot to do. But not this week.

Wrap up time:

1. I have a sponsorship with American Suzuki, but for some reason, there's been a glitch in getting things done. But I have faith they'll get it together.

2. Savoy Magazine: I think I'm in a long list of writers waiting for their checks.

3. BlackCafeLit: I'm working on the script for BCL this week, in anticipation of shooting at the Harlem Book Fair.

4. Documentary: I need to work on the documentary proposal this week. I think I'll do it while flying to Columbus and in my hotel.

5. Scripts, scripts, scripts: I'm writing three scripts right now, pretty much as practice. I'm also trying to practicing tag lines for my scripts. I need to become more precise and succinct in explaining my script ideas.

G8 Conference...

The G8 Conference is over and Tony Blair is trumpeting the doubling of aid to Africa. According to him, they are going to increase aid to $50 billion dollars. That got me thinking. That seems like a lot of money. But is it really? Then I found this...

"Research and Markets: Strong Growth of Pet Industry Set to Continue with American Spending on Pets Nearly Doubling in Last Decade to $34.4 Billion"

According to this article, Americans spend nearly as much on their dogs and cats as the G8 is pledging to help African countries (whose raw resources have provided most of the wealth to those G8 countries). I'm guessing that dogs and cats will at some point pass Africans in amount spent...

Lack of posts...

Sorry about the lack of posts. We just had the carpets cleaned, and the painter is still doing work. I travel to the Delta conference this week, so my posts may be a little bit every other day.

Freelance Writing for magazines...

Sucks. Big Time. You write the article and wait, and wait, and wait, to get paid. The editor is typically in a bad position because the publisher is waiting on that last ad to come in, while delegating the angry writers to her. I'm one of those angry writers. I'm owed a check that should have been here in June, and now it's July. I finally get the invoice, but do you think I'll get paid this month? Your guess is as good as mine. Grrr...

Today is the start...

Today is when I start getting in shape for the September tour. Goodbye chocolate. Goodbye ice cream. Goodbye refined bread. I'm feeling lumpy, mainly because I've been eating lumpy food. So here goes. My strategy? A modified vegetarian diet (fish allowed) along with four hours of playground basketball. It has always worked to get me in shape, and it should work this time. Wish me luck!

Anchors Without Degrees...

Last week, I found myself buying an Esquire magazine at the infamous Wal-Mart in the Crenshaw Shopping Center. I say infamous because that Wal-Mart is the subject of a truly offensive commercial which depicts the neighborhood around the Wal-Mart as being impoverished ("We have hope!" the Wal-Mart paid shill cries into the camera). The last time I checked, the houses in the neighborhood across from that Wal-Mart (Leimert Park) were averaging over $500,000 a piece. And those are the cheap homes. The homes directly above that Wal-Mart (Baldwin Hills) go for one million plus. So much for accuracy in advertising. Anyway, I digress.

I'm getting the Esquire because I'm in line to pay my Internet bill. I thumb through the pages and begin reading an article on NBC anchor Brian Williams. The article is nice enough, until I get to one part. Brian didn't earn his degree. Now normally, that wouldn't mean anything to me. But the old database in my brain remembered a controversy Brian started a while back.

"NABJ Dismayed About Brian Williams' 'Perspective' On Diversity; Seeks Meeting With NBC Executives
WASHINGTON – The National Association of Black Journalists is disappointed and dismayed about comments attributed to Brian Williams, the new beacon for NBC News, regarding newsroom diversity and aims to meet with NBC executives to discuss the matter, NABJ Vice President-Broadcast Barbara Ciara said Wednesday.

Williams, who last week succeeded Tom Brokaw as primary anchor of NBC’s evening newscast, was asked in last month’s issue of United Airlines’ Hemisphere magazine: "There are few women and people of color in top jobs at news organizations. How do we address this lack of diversity?”

Williams replied: "We have bigger problems. There are no black members of the U.S. Senate. We should keep some perspective on this. Nevertheless, I am constantly interested to hear of examples in our coverage where viewers think we got it wrong in one way or another because of a skewed viewpoint.”

Now, I'm a member of the NABJ (although I need to pay this year's due asap) and I know what it is like to be the only black in a newsroom. So to hear diversity to be so flippantly disregarded is disturbing. But it's even MORE disturbing to hear that it's coming from someone who didn't get their degree in the first place. For many African Americans, there's a thought that you have to be OVERLY qualified to get the same job, and that means J-school, or Masters programs. So it's a kick in the teeth when someone without a degree has the audacity to say that diversity in the newsroom isn't important.

Then, as I tend to do, decided to do some more research. And guess what I found. ABC's Peter Jennings doesn't have one. And CNN's Aaron Brown doesn't have one either.

Don't get me wrong. Not having a degree is not a disqualifer for success. Hell, Bill Gates and Paul Allen don't have one either. And there are plenty of millionaires without having finished or even attending college. But in an industry where people decide what is news and what is not news (read: Natalie Holloway and the Summer of Missing White Women), it is important to have African American, Latino, women, and others in the newsroom giving opinions. And since "merit" and "most qualified" are terms which have been used as hammers against minorities in their efforts to integrate overly white institutions, I think it is only fair that we take a close look at whether the white guy without the degree is more qualified than the black one with. Or perhaps, what we're saying is that America considers the two to be equal? If so, that is truly illuminating.

The Network Matrix...

Okay, the network matrix is a made up term I use for marketing. But it basically works this way. Once you've identified your target demographic, you've got to study them so that you know everything about them. You need to know who they are, where they go to eat, what they like to watch, where they like to worship, etc. And then you have to make sure that your marketing is everywhere they are. Don't worry about them getting tired of seeing you, that doesn't matter. You should be in front of their faces so much that they are guided as by an unseen force to your book. Your target demo is moving from place to place, and constantly seeing your book. Your network is now in your marketing matrix. Escape is futile. lol

Now, this is the delicate part. I won't talk about what I'm going to do specifically to market Friends With Benefits, until the marketing is underway. My book is now in competition with other books for sales, so I'm not particularly interested in giving away my specific strategies. But even as vague as I'll be, any writers on here can use my general principles for their own books.

On another front, I am consolidating all of my stuff (writing/lectures/BlackCafeLit etc.) under one umbrella. In about a month, my company website RudeBoyMedia, will be up and running. I should have done this a while back because my accountant tells me there are certain tax benefits to doing it. But also, sometimes business won't write checks directly to individuals. That means I have to wait for payment as they get approvals, yada, yada. I hate waiting. So look for RudeBoyMedia.com in a few more week.

Targeting Ones Markets Part II...

Below is a perfect example of why a writer has to target their market with precision.

Lawrence
---------------------------------------------------------------------
My Double Life
By Tayari Jones

Publicity is a weird thing for writers. I’ve just come back from the second book tour of my career. The first time, in 2002, I went out on the road to promote Leaving Atlanta, a coming of age story set against the backdrop of the Atlanta Child Murders. My publisher, Warner Books, decided to package me as a “southern” writer. For the last couple of months, I’ve been on the road with The Untelling, another novel set in Atlanta. But this go round, I’m doing it as a “black” writer.

I know that we are a nation that strives for color-blindness, so it seems sort of inherently offensive to label a writer as “black”. But this is what happened to me, and I have to tell you that, for the most part, it wasn’t so bad. Especially when you compare it to my book tour as a “southern” writer.

As a southern writer, I was sent to all manner of small cities below the Mason-Dixon line. I made an appearance in Bylthesville, Arkansas. I stopped through Jackson, Mississippi and rolled through Oxford. I hit Birmingham and Montgomery. You get the idea. I was even sent to a trade show. I wasn’t invited to BEA, but I went to SEBA—the South Eastern Booksellers Association. My experience at SEBA was one of the worst since I have been in the publishing business. Although there are a great many black people in the southern United States, there were only three of us in attendance—Kentucky writer Crystal Wilkinson, me, and a woman who works for DC Comics. My publisher, Warner Books, sponsored the dinner where they would be featuring one of their new writers: the author of a magnificent work of art called Redneck Nation. As I sat there and listened to this guy crack tasteless joke after tasteless joke, I made a promise to myself: If he says the word “nigger” one more time, in any context, I am leaving. He said it. I left. I was later informed that I lacked irony. That I could not take a joke.

So this time, I have been packaged as a “black” writer. I have been assigned an African-American publicist who knows her market. Right out of the box, I was featured in Essence magazine, prompting about a zillion hits to my website. (With Leaving Atlanta I was reviewed in People and nobody cared.) Shortly after the piece was published, I gave a reading in Birmingham at Jefferson State Community College where I met an African American woman named Donna. After my reading, Donna took me more or less door to door at the university and announcing to every black woman on campus: “This is the author who was in Essence!” Each woman whipped out her checkbook and purchased at least one copy of each book, no questions asked.

This is not to say that I have only promoted my books at “black” events. Sometimes I feel like I went on two book tours at once. It’s almost like I am living a double life. I hired an independent publicist Lauren Cerand, an Anglo-American, who has done a fantastic job of booking me in a more “general” market. Here’s an example:

When planning my trip to New York City, Lauren booked me at Bluestockings on the Lower East Side, where I read with Maud Newton. There were about fifteen people in attendance. All white, except my good friend Doug and my student Eve. The next day, thanks to my African American publicist, I read at Chocolat martini lounge in Harlem. There were about thirty people there. All black except for Lauren. I sold a lot more books in Harlem. Even the waitresses bought copies since I agreed to wait until they had accumulated tips enough to make the purchase. Both were great events, but my experience on the road has really shown me that there are (at least) two Americas.

This is not to say that my experiences with the black book niche have been idyllic. There have been challenges which are specific to dealing with this market. Since many African American authors are self-published, a culture has emerged which assumes that books by black authors are printed on vanity presses. I occasionally (neurotically) go into bookstores and ask for my own book. More than once I have been told, “We don’t carry self-published books.” In Chicago this weekend, I went to an adorable independent bookstore and saw many novels by African American authors displayed behind the registers. What great placement! Then, the clerk whispered, “We keep them back here to discourage theft.” On several occasions, I have been asked by interviewers, “How did you make the leap from self-publishing to traditional publishing?” When I was in Phoenix, Arizona on my book tour, the escort called around and found out that none of the chains were carrying The Untelling. I asked my publisher why and was told flatly that since there was not much of a black population in Phoenix, we couldn’t expect (let alone demand!) that Borders and B&N in Phoenix order my book.

So what’s a writer to do? Of course I want to be universal. When well-meaning white people ask me “Is your book for everyone?” I assure them that it is and I believe that I am telling the truth. But since black readers and white readers seldom come to the same event, a writer and her publicity team usually end up selecting one audience to go for. I was lucky this time. I had money enough to hire a fabulous free-lance publicist who exposed me to audiences that are outside the niche-scope envisioned by my publisher. And since my publisher decided to acknowledge the fact of my race for this book, I was able to use their resources to reach the audience that probably loves me best.

And if I were even luckier, there would be no choice to make.

Tayari Jones is the author of The Untelling (Warner Books, April 2005) and Leaving Atlanta, which won the 2003 Hurston/Wright Legacy Award for Debut Fiction. For more, please visit TayariJones.com.

The Real Name of Project X is...

Money Shot. Money Shot started off as a non-fiction book proposal on black porn, but editors were too scared that readers would be too embarassed actually buy it. I suggested that the book cover be a brown paper bag, but no go. However, they all said that the concept would make a great fiction novel, and so Money Shot the novel was born. Black non-fiction is a hard slog these days, so ya gotta adapt.

Battleplan Part II...

The guy to my left is Dale Carnegie and he wrote a little book called "How to Win Friends and Influence People". It's sold millions and millions since it was published in 1936. It's one of the first self-help books and is full of wit and clever phrases. At some point, everyone reads it. I read it back in high school and one thing always stuck with me. He had a little story where he talks about how he is a fisherman. And he also loves strawberries and cream. However, when he goes fishing, he doesn't try to catch fish with strawberries and cream. The point to this is that you have to understand your audience, hone in on your audience, and give them what they want.

That said, when I go about marketing Friends With Benefits, I must make sure that my efforts are narrow and my demographic is well defined. It isn't simply about marketing to black folks. That's too wide a net. It's not just about marketing to black women or black men. That's still too wide. I need to know the exact demographic I'm going after, and then hit that market HARD with marketing. And that means I need to create what I call a "network matrix". I'll talk about that later...

July 1st...Time for the Friends With Benefits Battleplan...

It's two months until the publication of Friends With Benefits, and it's time to start working my marketing plan. If you've noticed (or cared to check), the Amazon ranking of Friends With Benefits has fluxuated a lot. From a low of 1 mil to around 10k, it is going to continue to yo-yo as individuals begin buying books before it is released. Now it is time to start honing the FWB battleplan.

Here is my first goal:

I want to get Friends With Benefits on a few bestsellers lists. The immediate ones are:
Los Angeles Times & New York Times.

Since these two lists are weekly lists, you can get on those lists faster and then use that designation as a marketing tool for all of your promotions.

The Essence Magazine list is probably more important in the black community, but doesn't report until three months after FWB is published. Essence is a reliable list for black women to follow, and it might as well be a buyers guide. You want to be on that list month after month. My first book, The Divine Nine, was on that list over and over, and it definitely moved books.

As I've stated before, bestsellers lists are marketing tools. Nothing more, nothing less. They aren't as effective as word of mouth from friends you trust, but they can make your book a part of the conversation.

In order to get on these lists, you have to do booksigning at bookstores that report to these various lists. Sometimes you know which ones report, and sometimes you don't. Over the years, I've figured out many of them. Not all of the stores I sign in are reporting stores, however.

In a lot of ways, this is new for me. Cultivating the fiction reader is a lot different that going after the non-fiction reader. It is important to brand myself while forging a connection with readers who enjoy FWB. With non-fiction, your readers tend to buy the book for the topic. With fiction, the reader buys the topic, but also the writer and the writing style. They invest a lot in the writer and count on him/her to not let them down, book to book. My task is to get as many people as possible to make that investment.

Natalie Holloway...

If I were the family of Natalie Holloway, I would do all I could to find my daughter. That said, why is the American public subjected to around the clock coverage? Is her life more valuable than the fourteen year old Latino kid who died last night riding his bike? It's amazing how cynical the news cycle is and how they play up the sensational stories for all they are worth. Not just in the present day, but for all time.

Re: Review Copies of Friends With Benefits...

Attention all book club owners. I love you very much and I will be happy to do interviews with your clubs, but I don't have review copies of Friends With Benefits. I'm posting this because I've had a number of book club owners contact me about getting free copies, and I don't have any. What I did have was a limited number of galleys, which have already been sent out. My publisher, Kensington Books, will make review copies available, but I have no clue to how they make their decisions. You have to contact them at 212-407-1500. Thanks!

Harlem Book Fair...

I will be at the Harlem Book Fair for one day (July 23rd) filming segments for BlackCafeLit.

Done...

It's 3:31 am, and I'm finally done with Project X. Fifteen days after my initial deadline, but done nonetheless. I feel completely drained, but that's not unusual. Now I need to make sure this thing actually makes sense before I send it to my agent. But I am done, and for that, I'm grateful.

To Steal is Genius...

My friend and fellow author Danyel from Naked Cartwheels, created a section that lets her readers know where she is signing. So I stole the idea. If you look on the right, you'll see where I'm signing or lecturing. Thanks D!!!

Two Chapters...

I have two chapters left for Project X. After that, I'm done. I'll go back through it over the next few weeks, refining it, editing it, etc. and then sending it off to my agent. But the manuscript will be done. I'm very tired.

Changed Final Word Count...

If you've noticed, I changed the final word count for Project X to 75,000 words. That's not what the final manuscript will actually total, but that's what it will total when I'm initially done. I still use as a barometer what my newspaper editor used to tell us when I'd ask about how long he wanted an assignment to be. He'd tell me to write it until it was done. And with Project X, I know that there's five thousand extra words in the manuscript, but not from this initial manuscript. However, when I get done, it'll be closer to 85,000 than 75,000.

The Bloody Shirt...

George Bush is going to have a speech at Ft. Bragg tomorrow, and I think we will look upon this speech as being the beginning of the end. Bush is hoping that the photo op of him surrounded by troops, looking patriotic as he can be, will boost his poll numbers. It won't. His little American flag will be shiny, and the cheers will be timed and thunderous. And the American people won't buy it. And I'm not talking just about blue state folks like myself. I'm also talking about folks in the red states.

One of the biggest mistakes the Republicans made was failing to realize that the big lie always comes back to haunt you, mainly because it can't be maintained. So as the poll numbers plummet, and Team Bush/Rove try to come up with a strategy to get them back to half way decent, they have to revert back to fearing the American people into submission (via 9/11 memories), dividing those who are true American (according to Rove: Republicans and conservatives) and those who would harbor the enemy (again, according to Rove: Democrats and liberals).

But it's not going to work this time. American service men and women without limbs are now moving back into society. And despite the media fixation on those military amputees who still feel patriotic about America (that helps the guilt the rest of us have for sending them into a war based on false pretenses. It's the same way the media always ask an elderly black person who has been horrendously wronged about whether they are still "bitter", hoping they say no.) there are thousands of American military who are crippled both physically and mentally and who aren't so cheery. And they will begin to affect policy, because flag waving isn't going to be enough.

So as you watch the President, and I will, make sure you understand that this is all political farce. Men and women are still dying, and we'll all look back at this as the moment when Bush's lies fell flat. It is the beginning of the end.

Obvious...

Well, it is obvious that I didn't finish Project X on June 25th. That sucks because things are starting to pile up. I have gone through the Project X manuscript however, and I've gotten started on the post-finished editing I will do before sending it to my agent. But I want to finish writing this by June 30th, because July 1st is the start of "my get in shape before touring program". Nobody wants to see an ice cream belly on an author, so I need to get my behind in the gym. (Full disclosure: Breyers Ice Cream is evil and I've just eaten a bowl.)

So when the Project X is done and sent off to the agent, I will focus almost exclusively on Friends With Benefits (for all of you The Making of a Bestseller readers) and BlackCafeLit. FWB has a ton of things, so I think most of you will find it fascinating how I put things together. BlackCafeLit is REALLY the killer ap and I can't wait to start shooting.

Again, do me a favor, I check stat counter so I can see where folks are coming from (we've got a few people from Finland!), but I'd like to see some names. So do me a favor and leave a comment, letting me know where you are located and what you do.

Today's Plan...

1. Play games of Yahoo Dominoes.

2. Write five thousand words for Project X

3. Solidify book signing dates with as many bookstores as possible.

4. Work on second script.

That is all.

Over 60,000...

I'm done for the night and I've got to stop eating Breyers Chocolate Brownie Ice Cream. For one, I'm getting dangerously close to getting really out of shape. I go on the road in September, so I've got to be in some sort of good shape. Because if you go on the road out of shape, you risk gaining even more because being on the road makes you gain lots of weight.

When I lecture at college campuses, I've had the worst diet known to man. Did you see that doc "SuperSize Me"? I lived five years of that. Flying into a city, driving five to eight hours to a campus, going to the lecture, ordering the Hardee's Thickburger and three Snickers at midnight. And then, sleeping all day in the hotel room. Repeat. I started my first lecture/booksigning tour at 205lbs in 2000. Right now, I'm 225lb. At 6'1", that's not too bad, meaning that I look cool in my clothes. But I feel like bloato when flying. So I need to get down to around 205-210lbs by September. I may be looking at my last bit of chocolate for the next sixty days. But like smokers who need a cig after a meal (or sex), I associate chocolate with writing. And I'm thinking that the endorphins released with chocolate allow me to write freely. Don't know, but that's my theory. So I've gotta dilemma. Grow to epic proportions, or kick the habit. I think I'll go get another bowl.

Project X very close to completion...

When I write books, there's a point in the process where the only hold up is how fast I can type. The dialogue is there. The storyline is so solid that I can become very dexterous with the twist and turns. That is where I'm at now with Project X. I gave myself a break and now it is flowing smoothly. I'm at 58,000 words and I'll probably write through the night, getting to over 60,000 words.

On the FWB front, didn't do much today. Will do more later.

Back To Work...

I'm back to work on Project X. I stopped working on it at a sex scene because I was tired. And writing a sex scene when tired gives you a tired sex scene. So I had to re-energize and then come back to it. Wrote it and now I'm on the downward slide for the rest of the book.

I did a little marketing work with FWB today. I solidified a booksigning at Houston's Shrine of the Black Madonna for Sept. 11. That's going to be a tricky one because that's a Sunday, and of course, the anniversary of 9/11. But I should have a pretty nice sized crowd. I'm looking at my September schedule, and it is going to be madness. For the past four years, I've been mainly on college campuses, so I haven't signed in bookstores for a while. So this is going to be fun again, meeting readers outside of my normal demo.

My wife has picked up the galley and is about to read FWB for the first time, so that'll be interesting.

Stop with Project X...On with FWB Marketing...

I'm stopping for the next couple of days with Project X, and starting some FWB marketing. One place where my books have done well is on college campuses, and I will be contacting some about carrying Friends With Benefits.

Galleys...

I received the galleys for Friends With Benefits today. Galleys are uncorrected proofs that sort of look like your book, but without the art work. The publisher sent about eight of them, and I will send them out to a select group of folks I know, hoping they'll give it a positive review. But ya never know.

Why?

In the strange and absurd...why does my son stop everything to sign-a-long with the NFL Sunday Ticket commercial? Doesn't he understand that he's about to start a lifelong addiction to football? Doesn't he know that this makes for unproductive Fall and Winter seasons? I wish I could stop him, but...I'm too busy reading my Sporting News NFL/College Football preview magazine.

Hustle & Flow...

I was having a discussion with my wife last night (by the way, today is our thirteen wedding anniversary), and we were talking about the Sundance sensation, Hustle & Flow. If you don't know, Hustle & Flow is produced by John Singleton with $3 mil of his own cash, and stars Terrence Howard, an actor who if he'd decided to marry Tom Cruise, would have been given the publicity he deserved. Instead, he simply does excellent work without the publicity machine less deserving actors receive.

Hustle & Flow is about a Memphis pimp who has a midlife crisis and ultimately decides to become a rapper. Badabing, people were clamoring to get attached to it, and eventually Singleton sold it for $9 mil, tripling his money. But here's my problem. The movie comes out in about two weeks. But don't care if it is good, I don't want anymore black pimp, hoes, and gangster films. I'm not going to write them, see them, or eventually produce them. To me, Hollywood and the music industry loves to view Black life as a sort of perverse fetish, where the deviant people live and survive, without the constraints of morals or common decency. White America, in particular, gets a perverse sense that they are seeing the "real" black community when they watch films like Hustle & Flow, just like they think they're getting a "ghetto commentary" when they listen to Jay-Z. That would be fine if there was some balance to what people saw of blacks on film. If you were able to see upper, middle, and lower class black on screen, then proper perspective could happen. But instead, there are only a few ways for black films to get on wide release, and celebrating perversion is one of them. I think Italians are another group that has a similar beef as black folks with the constant depictions of them as Mafia members.

So the question is what do we gain when a Hustle & Flow gets made, praised and released. Do we get an onslaught of similar films? Probably, because Hollywood loves to copy, no matter what the genre. And some will say that that provides ops for black writers. That's probably true too. But count me out. I look at writing as a beautiful choice I've been given, and a wonderful opportunity to provide art (and get paid as a commodity). But none of that is worth having work on my resume that makes me cringe, not because I knew how it would turn out after I started, but because I knew I shouldn't have taken the job in the first place. I want to build a legacy. And legacies come in two flavors: good and bad.

Productive Day...

I don't know how much I wrote today, but it was close to around three thousand words. Project X is moving right along. More later...

Grip it and rip it...

Absolutely rolling on Project X. Absolutely rolling. The way I'm writing, I think the first draft will be done by the end of the week, meeting my second deadline of June 25th. Target for tomorrow: 5000 words.

Project X...

Project X is rolling right along. My goal is to write about 12,000 words between yesterday and Monday. When I get in this mode, I tend to write constantly, with a few backyard SuperSoaker fights with my six year old as breaks. The story is perfectly outlined in my brain, the US Open is on the television, and the yard work is already complete. Plus, I have a single Heineken in the fridge that is calling me after a hard day of writing. Nothing like incentive.

Had a great meeting with MK about our documentary. We're moving right along. And it looks like I'll be filming BlackCafeLit segments at the Harlem Book Fair in July. NYC in July? Should be sweltering. I think I'm going to join my friend Paul Guyot in his quest to lose a few pounds. I'm going to be on camera, so I need to lose about ten pounds for the ten pounds the camera is going to put on. I think I can do it in four weeks.

ABC Disney Fellowship 2006

ABC Disney Fellowship 2006

For the sixteenth year year, The Walt Disney Studios and ABC Entertainment are continuing the search to discover and employ creative talent and to employ culturally and ethnically diverse writers. We are looking for up to fifteen writers to work full-time developing their craft at The Walt Disney Studios and ABC Entertainment.

We will be offering Fellowships in the feature film and television areas through The Walt Disney Studios and ABC Entertainment, respectively. No previous experience is necessary; however, writing samples are required. Fellows will each be provided a salary of $50,000 for a one-year period tentatively scheduled to begin in January 2006.

For consideration, the application, the Writing Fellowship Program Letter Agreement, writing sample, with proof of current registration with either Writers Guild of America, west or East and/or the Library of Congress, resume and biography, must be submitted together between May 3, 2005 and June 30, 2005 to the contact mailing address listed. There is no application fee.

Big Day Today...

For the first time in about two week, my brain could really focus on Project X, and so the words have flowed. The progress bar has inched up, but that's not an indication of where it will eventually end up this weekend. The story is right there in my brain now, and most importantly, the dialogue is there. I'd reached a temporary stop with the story, and when that occurs, I tend to just keep looking at the story, trying to work it out. Gotta get this book up and out asap.

Meeting with MK this afternoon. We're continuing to work on our documentary.

Started another script. Surprisingly, it has the tone of "Lost in Translation", a movie I didn't particularly like. However, it fits my script.

But everything has to go on the backburner. Get Project X to my agent. Finish soldifying book signing dates Friends With Benefits. Finish production for BlackCafeLit. Finish documentary proposal. Prep three scripts by the end of 2006.

Great News!

One: I got up early, and with the help of my six year old trooper of a son, mowed and cleaned up the backyard. But the real news is the email I received from my editor. Friends With Benefits has been chosen by Black Expressions as their Fall Main Selection. That is big news folks, because Black Expressions is the largest black book club on Earth. Sort of like Columbia House for music. That means thousands of copies sold from the minute Friends With Benefits is published in September, and great momentum for continued sales. Plus, it means a nice little book club check for me. Not a bad Wednesday at all!

Not a bad day...

Got back on the porn book today. As you can see, the progress bar moved a bit, perhaps about one thousand words. On the agenda for tomorrow? Get up at the crack of dawn, cut the jungle that is my backyard, and then get back in the house before it gets blazing hot. Then, write from 9am until the evening. That should mean about three to four thousand words.

Just Got Back...

It's about eleven and I've just got back from UCLA's Screenwriters Showcase. BTW, something is up with the "v" on my Powerbook. For some reason, it's not working consistently. Anyway, it was cool seeing five screenplays read. I met MFA students Yule Caise (who had his screenplay read), Dave Garber (who won honorable mention) and a fellow Loyola High alum and screenwriter named Jango Sircus. Good folks.

Nothing but writing tomorrow. I've been in a rut for some reason, but I think my agent is going to start asking questions if I don't get my Project X done soon.

I should be receiving galleys for Friends With Benefits any time now. After that, I'll talk to my publisher and see what their plans are for publicity. I have some definite questions based on my first two books. Enough. It's time to get some sleep.

Today...

Normally, I'm pretty focused on my writing, but between the things I need to do for the house, and my writing projects, I've been pretty scatterbrained. For the past two weeks, my writing has been like eating tapas...a little bit of that, a little bit of this. Tonight, I'm going to my first UCLA film school event. It should be nice. But in the meantime, I'm going to try to either write ten pages of script or two thousand words for the manuscript. I'm not in a writing mood, but I've got to fight through it. I have deadlines.

Movie Clubs?

African American literature has taken off as a growth area within the publishing business. A lot of that has to do with the organization of African American readers as book club members. I was wondering if the same thing could happen with black movie goers? Could small groups of black movie goers start buying tickets for a wider variety of black films (and not just the broad comedies), propelling them so that the numbers show an audience is out there? What do you think?

Why?

Why am I getting addicted to the 1950s version of "What's My Line?" In a world where Paris Hilton defines "class" in the media, it is kind of nice to watch people in tuxedos and pearls ask questions. I don't know what it is, but it would be nice to have this sort of clean fun today. But it wouldn't happen. It would be considered boring.

The Front Yard...

More selling house stuff...

Yesterday was one of those days where I got up at that break of dawn, determined to get stuff done. Around 7am, I opened the garage, pulled out the hedge trimmers, and got to work on my front yard. The hedges in front yard were starting to resemble the French hedge rows of World War II, and I half expected a German soldier to ambush me.

As I trimmed and trimmed, I opened the doors to my truck and turned up the music (EPMD-Strictly Business got me hyped to cut everything in sight). I live in a very, very pleasant neighborhood in Inglewood, where folks manicure their lawns (actually, they pay for others to do that for them), grow their roses, etc. We're a "waving and smile" neighborhood, where our neighbors will always wave and smile at you if they drive by. I grew up about five blocks away from my house, and I'm definitely going to miss the sense of community. Everyone who saw me in the yard stopped to say hello, and were sad we were selling.

After the yard work (front yard only. The backyard azelea bush growing to the size of a alien comes later), I had a construction crew come over to give me an estimate on painting the house. The house looks fine right now, but an exterior painting would spruce it up. Dealing with anyone who you want to work on your house is fascinating to me. Absolutely fascinating. You have to somehow gain the customers confidence (without being a con man), and also close the deal as soon as possible so another guy won't come by and steal your customer. The guy was good, and as we walked around, he pointed out what he'd do. "I'll sand that, replace that, caukle that..." Then it was time for the estimate...

My friend went for the hard sell, trying to get me to sign a work order right then and there. I kept telling him that I was going to have three other contractors come in to give estimates, but of course, that just made him want to do the deal even more. He tried pulling out the paint color card and schmoozing with the wife (so he could go after her emotional response, therefore getting me to make a decision faster. Car dealers try to do this too by focusing on the stereotype that women buy on emotion (I like the color, the stereo) and men buy on price (I find that true, unless you're talking about a Ferrari. I want one, no matter the price). My wife wasn't biting.

After thirty minutes, I was finally able to get him to leave. But the guy IS good, so I think I'll go with him.

Ten Days of Nothing...

Okay, I pretty much had ten days of no writing. It was all fixin' and finnin', as in I was fixin' to write and finnin' to write. As you can see, I have a spankin' new progress meter on the side, so I will be updating it on a day to day basis. Beginning tomorrow, I need to get back to a minimum three thousand words per day regiment. I'm getting tired of working on the porn novel, and I want to move on. So keep looking at that meter and beat me over the head if I don't add to it.

Back to Julie Dash. Today, we sat at Magic Johnson's Starbucks in Ladera sipping Jamba Juices. First, I appreciated that she'd bought a copy of The Divine Nine (that keeps my son in Catholic school!), and that she was so generous with her time. During my summer "listening" tour of former UCLA film school alums, and working Hollywood writers and directors, I've been astounded by the kindness and encouragement I've received.

We talked about some of the obstacles black writers have to deal with in today's Hollywood. For those of you who don't know, I want to write screenplays that are African American/diaspora versions of Mike Leigh films. Quiet stories, not full of stereotypes, chuckles, and humiliating versions of "black" life. But we live in an era of "Soul Plane" (which I wrote on my UCLA application as an example of what is bad in Hollywood) and other stereotypes that are derivative of old racist silent movies.

It's hard enough to be a screenwriter, but it has to be even harder to be a minority screenwriter. Now, don't take that as any sort of self defeating fatalism because it's not. This is nothing new for anyone who is black, Latino, or any other minority. You get used to facing these hurdles throughout education (for me: prep school and undergraduate) and in whatever field you choose. What you have to have is a plan, a sledgeahammer mentality to breakthrough barriers, and tenacity beyond measure. And most importantly, you've got to be excellent in what you do. Speaking with Julie showed me a black woman who has those attributes.

My next meeting is going to be with Julie's agent. I want to get her perspective on the market for the scripts I'm writing, and also her perspective on how to guide a writers career.

Julie Dash!

I just spent over two hours with writer/director (and UCLA film school alum) Julie Dash and man, what a great woman! It was like kicking it with a REALLY good friend that you hadn't seen in eons, but the convo flows like you talk everyday. She went over some of the obstacles black writers have to face in Hollywood, and different strategies for getting things sold. More later...

Small Change to BlackCafeLit...

I decided to make one small change to BlackCafeLit. While I'm excited about producing this, I don't want to be constrained by an artificial deadline. So instead of having my DVD magazine work as a bimonthly, I'm simply going to dub them Vol.1, Vol. 2 etc. On one hand, I sacrifice the consistency. On the other hand, I can still produce the same amount of issue per year, but if UCLA gets too hectic, I can simply push back a release date without penalty. That's more important. Small point, but very important.

Loose Ends...

This is the time to complete things and tie up loose ends.

1. My fiction porn book deadline is being moved to June 25th. I'm at 40,000 words and should have no problem finishing. But I need to spend some time landscaping the house, so I'll lose some days. I want to get it finished, and then I want to go back and edit it, before sending it to my editor. After that, he can send it to my editor (since they have an option).

2. Frustrated: Still waiting on the Suzuki from my sponsorship. And I thought I was getting paid this week for a magazine article I wrote. Nope, not until July.

3. Need to make the tentative Friends With Benefits booksigning dates concrete.

After I get these three things done, I'll feel a lot better.

Kindergarten Graduation...

I just attended my son's kindergarten graduation, and there's nothing more cute than shiny little faces looking optimistically into the future. My son won a class award as the "Master of Puzzles", which goes a long way to explaining why we have countless jigsaw puzzles on our dining room table. Gotta love kindergarten!

The Killer AP: BlackCafeLit...

There is a fundamental problem for all writers and authors. There are too many books being published and not enough money spent on promoting them, AND the methods used to promote books tend to be archaic. Generally, most authors have six weeks to sink or swim. So what do we do? We go on television (if we're lucky), do a radio tour via telephone interviews (if we're lucky), and then there's the old booksigning. As I've explained before, booksignings are crucial but very inefficient. You have to do them so that you meet the booksellers and also meet the beautiful people who buy your books. But in terms of time spent versus books sold, booksignings are a very slow way to sell a lot of books.

And when you're talking about African American books and authors, you are talking about an even more limited opportunity to get your books in front of your potential customer. The African American consumer of books, dominated by African American women, are dedicated to supporting authors and black books. That's why African American books are one of the only sectors in publishing that continues to grow. But when you are looking for national television coverage, Thomas Wolfe will get it and E. Lynn Harris won't.

I've thought about how can I improve the marketing for not only my books, but other African American authors and their books. To date, I've lectured at over 250 colleges and universities, and I've done countless booksignings, and while I enjoy meeting people, there has to be a better way for us to market ourselves. Enter BlackCafeLit.

Last year, I approached NPR about doing a radio program called BlackCafeLit. It was going to spotlight the AA market. They were initially excited, but then nothing. So I put it on the shelf. But then, I met first year UCLA film student MK Asante, and he was producing a GREAT DVD magazine called Focused. I instantly knew that I wanted to do the same with my BlackCafeLit idea.

BlackCafeLit Digizine is a bimonthly DVD magazine that features and profiles African American books, authors, agents and editors. It's debuting in September 2005 and it'll be in black bookstores nationwide, while also having displays in alternative retail sites like black beauty salons and barber shops. I want the African American reader to see and listen to their favorite African American authors, while also getting a guide to what's new in the bookstores. And what's great, there's an advertising section called The Author's Corner, where any author can pay for advertising. A self published author stands on the same footing as a midlist author in this section, allowing the reader to seek out a book they may have missed. It's the single most effective way to market books for the money.

So that's it. That's the killer ap. After BlackCafeLit, I will then do one for the mainstream audience. Now, let's see if we can move books.

The Killer Ap Revealed...

Remember I was saying that I'd created a killer ap for marketing African American books and authors? I'll reveal it later tonight.

re: New First Script...

Okay, so I'm working on my revised script, and I'm realizing that I've created a completely different screenplay. Soooo, I'm going to see if I can fix the mediocre first script, and then work on the second script as a completely different animal. Confused? Yeah, so am I. But I have a vision. lol

My First Script...

About a year ago, I started playing with the script form. And I wrote two scripts. My first impression was DAMN, this is hella easy! You mean that it only takes about 100 or so pages and I'm done? Compare that with writing my first book, which was a damn 150,000 words. Or my second book, which was 125,000 words. Writing scripts was like a vacation. Or so I thought.

As I said, I wrote two scripts. I'd never picked up a book on screenplays (and that's not a positive thing, but simply a fact), but I got a lot of the elements right. One of the scripts I wrote is more of a sketch, and I'll come back to that one later. But the first script is the one I liked the most, and the one I've concentrated on the most.

For the past six months, I've had an NYU film grad break it down my script, and she showed me how elements in a script worked. My brain is starting to move from prose to more visual. Grasping the showing not tell adage is probably one of the more difficult things for me to get used to. After working with my NYU friend, she encouraged me to show it to others. I had a good story, but it needed more.

After crafting a couple of drafts, I sent it to MK Asante, the first year UCLA film student, and he gave me some of the best notes. And it was a combination of their notes that allows me to do something completely different than when I write fiction or non-fiction. I'm tearing up major parts of the screenplay and refocusing the plot so that it's more clear and narrow. Now to most screenwriters, that may be a regular thing. But for me, it is exceedingly refreshing. Because I'll be damned if I re-write my fiction. lol Either you like it, or you don't. It sells or it doesn't.

One of the problems with my script was that it was still more of a good idea, with a pieced together story, but it didn't come together well in terms of the conflicts within the story, or the motivations of the characters. Honestly, I could have used what I had, and created a mediocre script. But I'm not sacrificing to go to UCLA film school to be mediocre or write bullshit. And so, while making tacos, the changes became exceedingly clear. Now, I'm going to start re-writing.

Back Started...

You know how you get tired when riding a bike, and you decide to stop? It takes a second for the lactic acid to subside, and then you get on the bike and start pedaling again. Well, that's how I feel now. My brain had reached that lactic acid level, and I needed about three days to get over it. Today, I put in about one thousand words, and I have about another two thousand in me by the end of the night. More porn to be written...

On the Friends With Benefits booksigning front, here's the tentative schedule. I can't say which bookstores will be hosting, because I'm still trying to do the off-site signings. Some of these will be off site, and others on-site. I'll spend three days in NYC doing the signings, and meet and greets.

Sept. 8th: Los Angeles
Sept. 9th: Oakland
Sept. 10th: Dallas
Sept. 11th: Houston
Sept. 12th: Nashville
Sept. 13th: Chicago
Sept. 15th: Lecture at Cal State Dominguez Hills
Sept. 16th: Atlanta
Sept. 18th: Miami
Sept. 20th: Washington DC
Sept. 21-24th: New York

I'm probably going to space them out a bit to give me some room. But I have to get this done before school starts.

Didn't Write a Word...

I didn't write a word today, and I don't feel a bit guilty. Nope, just Yahoo dominoes and laying on the couch. But back at it tomorrow. I have a self imposed June 15th deadline.

My Soccer Rant...

Look, I understand that everyone doesn't get soccer (as it's called here in America). And I'm not trying to convert everyone, because I could give a damn if most people can understand how the 1999 Champions League match between Manchester United and Bayern Munich was one of the greatest sporting experiences you could ever have. Or how even the recent Liverpool vs. AC Milan match (and I don't like Liverpool) was one of the best matches ever. But what I do hate is this: Sportscasters on ESPN, sports writers in newspapers, and sports pundits everywhere, reveling in their ignorance of the game. I mean, broadcasters who supposedly are "experts" in their field, routinely mispronounce player names and teams, as they smile and laugh at their lack of interest. For this you're proud? Maybe I have different standards, but if I knew my station or newspaper covered lacrosse, and I knew nothing of lacrosse, I would do my damndest to know the history, the current stars, and what was happening because I was a professional. Apparently, being a professional is secondary to appearing to be a joke.

FINAL DRAFT’S 6TH ANNUAL BIG BREAK!

FINAL DRAFT’S 6TH ANNUAL BIG BREAK! SCREENWRITING CONTEST NEARS DEADLINE

Winner to Receive $15,000 in Cash and Prizes plus Meetings with Industry Professionals Final Draft’s 6th Annual Big Break! International Screenwriting Contest is nearing its deadline! The regular deadline of June 1 is approaching (fast), but don’t forget, we also have the extended deadline of June 15 for late entries. The winner will be awarded $10,000 cash and meetings with industry professionals. In addition, Premier Sponsor Microsoft Corporation is donating a Tablet PC, loaded with software, to each of the top three finalists. Plus, the top ten finalists will receive a copy of Final Draft scriptwriting software, a Microsoft software package, Ink Tip script and logline web placement, a screenwriting course from Gotham Writers’ Workshop, one-year subscriptions to Fade In and scr(i)pt magazines and a gift certificate from The Writers Store.

2004’s Big Break! winner Rylend Grant quickly signed with CAA. Rylend’s winning script, DRIVE, has just landed him a six-figure deal to write for an A-list actress and an Oscar®-winning director! Many of the previous years’ winning scripts have been produced or optioned.

Big Break! is an annual, global screenwriting competition designed to promote emerging creative talent. For more information about the Big Break! Contest, visit: www.bigbreakcontest.com.

Setting up booksignings...

Things went really well with my booksigning schedule. BEA (BookExpoAmerica) is happening in New York this week, but I was able to confirm booksigning dates with Emma Rodgers of Black Images in Dallas. I talked with Kensington Books' sale rep (a wonderful pit bull of a woman) who planned out a NYC strategy for booksignings. Since bestsellers lists are great marketing tools, we target NYT reporting stores, and since I know I can get a critical mass of readers to my signings, I can almost guarantee that I'll be somewhere on the list, at least for a week. The same with the LATimes list. That gets the momentum going for Friends With Benefits, because we can market the book to everyone as a NYT or LATimes, or Essence magazine, bestseller. And although the majority of African American readers buy books on word of mouth, it doesn't hurt if they read or hear that it made the list. Once I get these dates done, then we'll work on figuring out which ones will be done off-site and which on-site.

Finished...

It took all afternoon, but I caught all of the transitional spaces that had been closed. As it turns out, they hadn't missed every one, but only about ten pages worth. So now, it is on to finishing the porn book by June 15.

My Powerbook...

I have a Powerbook G4 that I use almost exclusively, and I have to say that I love almost everything about it, EXCEPT the case. I have the crappy titanium model (which sounded cool when I first bought it), but is literally a piece of crap. The paint flaked off easily, and since I travel often, it was accelerated. And now, the monitor has broken the hinge on one side. I don't know how this happened, but it is a pain. Now, every so often, something pinches a wire in my monitor, so that it "ghosts". I have to restart, move the monitor so that it comes back on. Grrr... It's off to Mac911 tomorrow for the fix.

re: the Final Production Edit...

All right. I'm reading Friends With Benefits for the TWO MILLIONTH time. Someone bleed me. What I have in my hand is the manuscript as sent from my production editor. Basically, it looks like my book, but in manuscript form. My job, in the next day or so, is to make sure that little things like character names, dates and events, are consistent. Tedious, but necessary. Because the minute you miss one, it will SHOUT at you when your book comes back to you completed. The other thing I have to check for are typesetting issues, and that's where I'm having problems. In my chapters, I have spaces between some transitional points and they are crucial. Well, the typesetter decided to crunch them together. Double plus ungood because crunched together, the transitions don't make sense. So there will be a lot of # marks sent back to the publisher. Happy Memorial Day!

Whatever Happened To...

...Theodore Witcher. Don't know the name? He wrote and directed the 1997 hit (within the black community at least) love jones. According to IMDB, he only wrote one more movie. If anyone knows, please leave a comment.

Things to Accomplish Next Week...

1. Solidify booksigning schedule for September. I'm pretty much going to do three per week, beginning right after Labor Day. I think I'll do ten or twelve cities. I have to do them before UCLA starts on September 26.

2. Finish FWB edit from the production editor. They are trying to make me hate my own book, I've read it so many times. But after I do this, only galleys and the real book lie ahead.

3. Write 15,000 words on porn book. I'm at 40,000 right now. Also, the main porn scene is written, which was probably the hardest to write. I feel like I'm writing downhill now.

4. Continue working on the Killer Ap.

5. Start calling my journalistic contacts about FWB, and alerting them to the fact that they should declare FWB the next great
American novel. lol

6. Continue de-cluttering the house. Lease signed on the apartment, now gotta prep house for sale. You accumulate a ton of stuff, and don't even know it.

7. I have been promised by American Suzuki that they will let me know when I receive my bike this week. They have been dragging, so I'm hoping to get it soon. I will follow up.

8. It's the end of May, and that means one thing: ROYALTIES! Nothing like a summer present.

That's it on the biz tip.

More Chris Matthews...

So I'm watching this idiot again today, and he gets mad when he mistakenly thinks a filmmaker has said he portrays Bush as an idiot (which, of course, he is). He goes on a rant, talking about the woman must not have watched his show, and that he voted for Bush...blah, blah, blah. BTW, he calls him a journalist. What a joke!

Copy of the Proofs...

I just received a copy of my proofs for Friends With Benefits. This is when you get your manuscript back from the production editor, and it looks like how it will look as a book. Just short of galleys, but a little more than how your original manuscript looked like. This is the final look for any wrong names, dates, and events. Can't do any re-writes on this, so what you have is what is going to be on the printed page. This should be quick work, and that's why they expect it back by June 2nd.

Signed Books...

I am starting to de-clutter the house, and I found eight hardcover copies of my second book, The Ways of Black Folks: A Year in the Life of a People. If you want a copy, I'll sign it and sell them for $10 a piece. Email me at alpha1906@gmail.com. Thanks!

Progress being made...

Right now, I'm a bit schizo in that I'm trying to steadily write my black porn book, while making contact with bookstores for my tour in September. I'm waiting on the details of my little soirees, and how they are going to work, so I can only make tentative plans. I think that once I get the porn book done (JUNE 15 is my personal deadline), then I'll stop writing for the summer, and concentrate on marketing for FWB and creating the Killer Ap. BTW, the killer ap is not only going to help me sell books, but also help a ton of black writers sell their books too. It is WAY over due.

Chris Matthews...and his Republican love affair...

Is it me, or does Chris Matthews just seem to love anything that the Republicans do? Yeah, yeah, I know he was a speechwriter for Carter, but that was nearly thirty years ago. Now, if a Republican says that the sky is yellow, he'll say 'yep, you're right. It's actually a lemon sky'. I think his slide started when he slobbered over GWB when Mr. Prez infamously landed on that flight carrier in a flight suit. I thought he was going to ask him out for a date after his comments. Okay, back to writing my black porn book. I'm making pretty good progress, as I'm a little over one third through.

GRANTS: abc/disney writing fellowship program

ABC Entertainment & the Walt Disney Studios' Writing Fellowship Program

http://www.abcnewtalent.disney.com/html/
writing_fellowship_mainpage.htm

For the sixteenth year year, we are continuing the search to discover and
employ creative talent and to employ culturally and ethnically diverse
writers. We are looking for up to fifteen writers to work full-time
developing their craft at The Walt Disney Studios and ABC Entertainment.
The Walt Disney Studios and ABC Entertainment are equal opportunity
employers and it is our policy not to discriminate on the basis of age,
color, handicap or disability, ancestry, national origin, marital status,
race, religion, sex, sexual orientation, veteran status, or political
affiliation, or on any other unlawful basis in its employment programs.

We will be offering Fellowships in the feature film and television areas
through The Walt Disney Studios and ABC Entertainment, respectively. No
previous experience is necessary; however, writing samples are required.
Fellows will each be provided a salary of $50,000 for a one-year period
tentatively scheduled to begin in January 2006.

This Program is open to all writers. Members with Writers Guild of America
(WGA) credits are also eligible for this Program, and need to apply
directly through the WGA's Employment Access Department at (323) 782-4648.

The program boasts an impressive roster of alumni who are now enjoying
successful careers in the television and the feature film-writing
workforce. As the program's level of prestige has increased, its graduates
have been called upon for assignments spanning every studio and network in
the industry. Of recent Fellowship graduates, Cindy McCreery (2003) sold
her feature comedy pitch "Powder puff Girls" to Disney; Tamiko Brooks
(2003) was hired as a staff writer on "Eight Simple Rules for Dating My
Teenage Daughter;" Sean Diviny (2003) was hired as a staff writer on
"Alias;" Monica Zepeda (2002), was hired as one of the writers on the SHREK
II video game; Sonya Steele (2002) was staffed on "ER;" Veena Sud (2002)
was hired as a writer on CBS's "Cold Case;" Brenda Hsueh (2002), was
staffed on Fox's "Oliver Beene;" Nelson Soler (2001) was hired
writer/producer for ABC's "Trista And Ryan's Wedding;" Dailyn Rodriquez
(2001), is staffed as story editor on ABC's "The George Lopez Show;" and
John Marsh (2001), wrote an episode for Disney Channel's "Proud Family."

Former Fellows also include Joan Weiss (1999-2000), Co-Producer for the
WB's "Everwood;" Heather Hach (1999-00), wrote the Walt Disney's remake of
"Freaky Friday" and "There's a Pop Diva Loose in the Cafeteria" for
DreamWorks; Meghan McCarthy (1999-00), sold her feature script "The
Bachelorette" to Universal Pictures; Saladin Patterson (1996-97), is
Co-Executive Producer on "Bernie Mac;" Don D. Scott (1995-1997) was a
writer on "Barbershop" and "Barbershop 2:Back In Business;" Luisa Leschin
(1995-1996), is Co-Producer on ABC's "The George Lopez Show;" Peter
Murrieta (1994-1995), was Executive Producer and creator of the WB's
"Greetings from Tucson" and "All About the Andersons;" Jane Espenson
(1992-1993), was Co-Executive Producer on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer;"
Malcolm Lee (1992-1993), is writer/director of the film "The Best Man," and
director of "Undercover Brother" for Universal Pictures.

Jacquelyn C. Edmonds (1991-92), is Co-Executive Producer on UPN's "Abby;"
Laurence Andries (1991-1992) is Co-Executive Producer of "Alias;" Tony
Puryear (1990-1991), wrote the feature "Eraser;" Reggie "Rock" Bythewood
(1990-1991), wrote and directed "Dancing in September" for HBO and "Biker
Boyz" for DreamWorks; Tim Doyle (1990-1991) served as executive producer on
critically acclaimed seasons of ABC's "Ellen" and "Grace Under Fire" and is
currently the creator of "Stuck In The Middle with You," an NBC comedy
slated for mid-season 2003-04; and Gary Hardwick (1990-1991), wrote the
feature films " Trippin," " Bring It On, " and wrote and directed "The
Brothers," and "Deliver Us from Eva."


-Forwarded by Nalo Hopkinson
member, SFWA Grants Committee
http://www.sfwa.org
"support for writers" listserve:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/supportforwriters/

Black Newspapers and Radio...

As part of my marketing campaign for Friends With Benefits, I'm going to do a LOT of radio interviews. Now, Kensington tends to like "radio tours", which basically means that I have to wake up at 3am PST, to get interviewed by an East Coast drive time deejay. When my son was real young, I used to take my cell phone and go into my truck for the interviews. I found that bathrooms are an echo chamber.

But I love radio interviews because they tend to be longer than television interviews. Television is fine, and you do get a wide reach when you are on, but give me an hour radio interview, where I can mention "Friends With Benefits" eery minute (I have an egg timer y'all) and I'll sell tons of books. So right now, I don't know what Kensington is going to do, but I'm going to begin listing the black themed radio stations I want to target for interviews. Same with black newspapers. Those are weeklies, so folks tend to keep them around for longer than a day.

LA Heat...

I don't know how it is everywhere else, but it's hotter than three whores in church here in LA. I have the air conditioner on eleven.

Friends With Benefits Marketing: Plan #1

My frat brother Ray, is sending me his plan for marketing Friends With Benefits. As I told you earlier, I hate in store booksignings. Boring for the author, and boring for the reader coming to see the author. So, we're going to do some off site signings and gatherings. I'm going to ten cities, and an alcohol company (yet to be determined) is going to host a series of "Friends With Benefits" nights. Readers can buy a book, get a drink, mingle with others, and then ask me questions. It's a simple change, but it should get the buzz going (both with the contents of the book and the effects of the alcohol) much better than simply sitting them in chairs and fielding questions. Combining this strategy with my killer ap should get some results in terms of book sales.

I have set an internal date of June 15th for the completion of my porn book. Even told my agent that, so I'm under the pressure. But I have no excuse for lagging, since this is what I call the "sports dead period". Nothing should distract me. But it's around three in the afternoon, and I still haven't added a word to the porn manuscript. It's too damn hot here in Los Angeles, and suddenly, I'm interested in the beauty of the Preakness and the conforts of air conditioning. Damn this procrastination...

Annus Horribus...

My beloved Manchester United completed a season without silverware, losing to Arsenal in the FA Cup today. I know most of you don't give a damn about "soccer", must less English "soccer", but I love it. But this year was different. Except for my alma mater (first half of my college career) Cal, all of my sports teams had a bad year. And even Cal laid an egg against Texas Tech in the bowl game. But as for my other teams, the Raiders stunk up the NFL; the Lakers imploded and missed the playoffs; and Manchester United finished the season without any silverware, were suddenly owned by Malcolm Glazer of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers,who instantly turned one of the most profitable teams in football into one of the most debt ridden. Well, there's always next year.

House to Apartment...

Today, we found an apartment right next to UCLA. That was pretty easy. Now, we're getting the house ready for sale. The apartment will be ready in September, and it looks like we'll list the house at the beginning of July. I love my house, but grad school isn't going to give me the flexibility to lecture as much as I used to, nor have the time to keep up the house. Plus, housing values are skyrocketing, and we're going to make a nice profit in only five years. So it makes sense to be right next to campus versus going crosstown. Plus, it's a MUCH easier commute for my wife. But this damn screenwriting thing betta work out!

More UCLA stuff...

Got my first info from UCLA today. You know the old little envelope bad, big envelope good, dictum? Well, UCLA doesn't operate that way. To date, everything had been sent via email. My acceptance letter was via email. I finished my undergrad at UCLA, so I still had an online account, which made it easy to accept the place in film school. Today, they sent a two pager telling me about the requirements for the MFA. I'm going to give it a read later this evening.

Addictions...

Must...stop...playing...yahoo...dominoes...

Amazon Rankings...

Anyone who has a published book will know that Amazon rankings are addictive. Whether or not your ranking is in the millions (as FWB is right now, but hell, it's not even published yet); in the hundreds of thousands (The Ways...ouch), or under ten thousand (The Divine Nine...yeah!), you still check everyday. The Amazon algorithm is a thing of mystery, yet you can figure out that it combines the daily, monthly, sales with the length of the sales, to come up with a number. Get a bunch of sales on one day, and see your number get closer to one. Don't keep getting those sales, see your number go back higher. So on, and so forth.

I remember when my first book was published, my Amazon ranking kept getting closer and closer to one, and I got more and more excited. Finally, it dipped to 680, and I contacted my editor (like a newbie I was). I was like, 'I should be on Oprah'. She was non-plussed and told me to let her know when the number reached #20. That's when she'd get excited. I ain't got to #20 yet. But I'm still trying!

Felicia Henderson Rocks...Part II

What made my conversation with Felicia great was that she was nice and straight with me. I can't tolerate people who are blowing smoke, and she didn't. For the most part, my plan for UCLA is to squeeze every damn bit of information, education, and opportunity, out of it.

Felicia helped confirm that I'm on the right track with my plans. I have three different things I want to do. I want to write commercial films (what I call 'feed the monster film', meaning films that reach a broad audience), niche films for the African American audience, and documentaries. She advised me to use as much UCLA equipment as possible and take advantage of the FREE part of UCLA. She also liked that I was getting started on project now, rather than after graduation.

I'm too sleepy to keep typing, but I'll write more later. I worked a little bit more on my fiction book on porn, and I'm about one third through. The Killer Ap is still the Killer Ap, although my original model may mean changes.

Because of grad school, we're going to sell the house and move right next to campus. I just won't have the time to keep up this house, and I'll have to dial back my lectures, so it makes sense. Plus, we're in a housing boom, and I don't want to be caught in a housing bust while in school. But one of the advantages is that my son will be able to go to one of the best elementary schools in Los Angeles. We're going to check out an apartment this Friday.

Felicia Henderson Rocks!

That's all I can say. I just had an hour and a half discussion with her, and I'm even more hyped about UCLA film school than before. More later...

The Killer Marketing Ap...

Does anyone know what a killer ap is? A killer ap is shorthand for "Killer Application". It is what the software industry likes to call a program that is so good, it renders another application obsolete. For example, CDs made cassette tapes and wax albums obsolete. Well, I've been looking for a book marketing killer ap. And I think I've found it. I think I've found the killer marketing ap for selling books that makes booksignings look like 19th Century marketing (which it is). But here's the catch. I have approximately fourteen days to organize my killer ap, and figure out how to pay for it. But I like pressure and if my bet is right, I think I will be able to sell 100,000 copies of Friends With Benefits, and also set up a nice business at the same time. I'll talk more after it is done and ready. Sorry about being circumspect, but killer aps only work if you're the first to the market. And I'm determined to be first.

A Major Pitch Fest at USC...

A Major Pitch Fest

You'll never be a player in Hollywood if you can't talk a good game. Last week film students met the real world.

By Sean Smith

May 16 issue - A few weeks from now, 22-year-old Molly Kron will graduate from one of the most prestigious film schools in the country. Last Monday night, though, all that mattered was whether she could channel all that education into a three-minute pitch for an animated comedy screenplay she calls "Cash Cow." "I'm a little nervous," she said, as she prepared to face a room full of suits in the hopes of scoring an agent, a manager or a movie deal. "In the beginning my pitch was really long. It gets pretty crazy at times, with the talking weasels and dancing muskrats."

Every year the USC School of Cinema-Television—alma mater to George Lucas, among other luminaries—sponsors a program called First Pitch, which trains graduating screenwriting seniors and master's students in Hollywood's lingua franca, the pitch, and then puts them in the ballroom of the Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills with three dozen industry players. On Monday, Kron and 51 other students entered the ballroom and faced row upon row of small, white tables. At each table sat someone with the power to kick-start their careers. (So, you know, no pressure.) Each student would get five minutes with a CAA agent or an executive from Warner Bros.—five minutes to dazzle the listener into requesting a copy of the script—before a little bell rang, and the student moved to a new table and started all over again. They would repeat the process up to 20 times. "It's like speed-dating," says First Pitch director Hayley Terris-Feldman. "It's insane, really."

The program, now in its fourth year, is organized and run by students, but has the full support of the faculty. "You don't write screenplays to be published, you write them to be made," says school dean Elizabeth Daley. "This gives them a chance to test their wings, and I would feel irresponsible if we weren't helping them with the transition."

The students rehearse their pitches for months, guided by literary-talent manager Mikkel Bondesen. "The worst thing that can happen to these kids," Bondesen says, "is that they have a great script but they don't know how to pitch it, so it never sees the light of day." Actually, there are worse things. "One person asked me if I was on crack," Kron said as the evening finally wound down. "I'm guessing that's bad." Still, she got an impressive 11 requests for copies of her work, and she high-fived with pal Jonathan Igla, who was "very psyched" that both Warner Bros. and Sony asked to read his scripts. Greg Levine, who spent the night talking up his TV pilot "Happily Ever After?" discovered that he likes pitching. "It was so much fun! But the woman from Warner Bros. told me, 'Sometimes the best screenplays don't pitch well at all'." He laughs. "I was, like, 'Please don't tell USC that'." They'll never know.

I'm truly hyped...

As I continue to talk to black UCLA film school grads, director Julie Dash has agreed to meet with me. That, ladies and gentlemen, is the bomb. Last night, I watched a documentary on IFC called Sisters in Cinema. It detailed Hollywood's abysmal record when it comes to providing opportunities for African American women. It was illuminating because you begin to think about what you think black film is all about, and almost always, an African American male pops into your head. Now, I can't change my gender (uh, I guess there are ways, but you know what I mean), but I'm determined to write strong African American women characters. Maybe that influence comes from my Mills College (all women college) educated wife, but it seems to me that black women are often depicted in a very skewed manner. I hope to change that through my own super duper, personal film manifesto. I'll post my film manifesto later.

Great Meeting...

I had a great meeting with M.K. Asante at the Coffee Bean in Westwood. He's a real cool brother and I look forward to talking to him again, and possibly working with him. From what he told me about the professors in the film school, I'm pretty hyped about learning as much as I can.

What's Been Done...

1. It looks like I've set up a Friends With Benefits signing in Atlanta. That's an important city for African American books because of the large black population. And what makes this signing even better is that the bookstore is willing to donate 10% of the sales to the Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial Foundation. My fraternity is a huge booster of that, and it will be great to raise the funds. I'm ambitious. I want to get one thousand people to show up for the booksigning.

2. I just finished the third draft on my screenplay. For the past year, my friend Michelle (NYU film school grad) has been going through it line by line, and I'm learning a lot. I'm just now learning the script form, so she's been invaluable.

3. Still working on the story part of the Project Z television script my frat and I are developing.

4. Project X is still going strong. Wrote about three thousand words over the past couple of days.

5. I'm meeting with M.K. Asante today, the brother in UCLA film school. I want to get some pointers for the documentary I want to do next summer. Would love Samuel L. Jackson for the narrator.

6. Next Wednesday, I'm talking with Felicia Henderson, an African American writer who teaches at UCLA, and also wrote on Soul Food, one of the best shows about African Americans in the past decade. This summer is about gaining a perspective on writers and Hollywood from the African American perspective.

Added...

My editor's assistant, Nicole (a sweet sister by the way), asked me to provide questions for any book club that may pick up the book. That was cool because we don't do that with non-fiction books. I'm starting to get really excited about Friends With Benefits!

Writing Again...

I'm back on Project X, getting in a good two thousand words over the past couple of days. But most of my time has been spent working on the marketing plan for Friends With Benefits. Kensington just sent over about two hundred covers, which I will send to various media people, along with a press packet. Also, I will create postcards that will feature the cover, and I'll place those in the usual places, such as bookstores, black restaurants, etc. Another thing I'm going to experiment with is an internet commercial for the book. I found a website that allows you to send pretty large files to many people, including video. So I think I'll make a slick commercial and see if I can quantify the results. More later...

Clearing the Brain...

When I need to give my brain a little recharge, I put in my superduper iPod playlist. It is eclectic, but it seems to do the trick. Try it, you just might like it!

1. EPMD- Strictly Business
2. Prefab Sprout- Hallelujah
3. Boogie Down Productions- Poetry
4. English Beat- I Confess
5. Wilson Simonall- Nem Vem Que Não Tem
6. The Clash- Train in Vain
7. The Untouchables- Free Yourself
8. Steel Pulse: Rally Round the Flag
9. Super Cat- Ghetto Red Hot
10. Kool G. Rap- Road to the Riches

Awww...

I'm a bit sad today because my girl Oona King, a British MP I interviewed for The Ways of Black Folks: A Year in the Life of a People, lost her seat yesterday. She's in a tough district in London, with a large population that didn't support the Iraqi War, and she did.

King is the daughter of Preston King, an African American professor, who left the US during the Vietnam War. He'd been drafted, but refused to serve when a Southern draft board wouldn't call him by his last name. He left for the UK as a fugitive, and President Clinton eventually pardoned him.

I was able interview King on a fluke. My frat brother, Oscar, and I were at a meeting and he asked me who I was interviewing for my book. I mentioned that I wanted to interview Oona, and he then told me she was his cousin. From there, it was off to the UK. I hope she bounces back.

Back To Making A Bestseller...

All right, many of you initially came from my listserve, The Making of a Bestseller. And now that the editorial is done for FWB, I will then concentrate on tell you the FWB strategy.

For me, I'm going to try to build momentum for the book, and I have less than six weeks to do it. FWB ships from the publisher to their distribution center in August, and then heads out to bookstores. I start UCLA on September 26, so whatever I do for the book has to have bang for the buck.

Plan #1: My frat brother, Ray Dennis, operates a marketing firm and he's working his magic to find a sponsor for some Friends With Benefits soirees in about ten cities. The idea is to take the book out of the bookstore and into a social environment. Personally, I find bookstore signings the most boring events on earth. I get asked the same questions, and I robotically give answers, sometimes thinking about whether to have chicken or beef for dinner, rather than the actual question. But a social event, say at a restaurant, where people purchase the book from a bookseller, and then we mingle, is much more attractive to me. So I've got to choose ten cities. Here they are:

1. Los Angeles
2. New York
3. Atlanta
4. Chicago
5. SF/Oakland
6. Dallas
7. Washington DC
8. New Orleans
9. Philadelphia
10. Detroit

Plan #2: Plan #2 is a much larger, more complicated plan that is geared toward selling thousands of books in one day, and also provide the largest amount of exposure and publicity possible. I'm still waiting on Books-A-Million to see if they like my proposal. Once I finish talking with them, then I talk more about it.

Finally Done...Finally...Finally...

The corrected Friends With Benefits is finally done and sent off to my editor. Whew! I'm technically late, but I was working my ass off to get it done by today.

Now, I get to work on the story part of Project Z. My frat brother is an MFA student at NYU and we've been partnering on various projects (including the ill fated Heist television show, which I will get back to later), but our best project by far is a black fraternity/sorority series we're working on. With Project Z, he's handling the script and I'm doing the story. Our first episode is the bomb, and I'm confident that we have a series that can be attractive for a network, and find a wide demo audience.

Working on the story part tends to be easy for me, but it takes some time. I have to visualize where I want my characters to go, and why. It's hard to explain, but they always come out cool in the end.

After this, I'm probably going to take a week off from writing. I have a Divine Nine lecture date at CSUDH next week, and then I'll get back on Project X.

Also, I'm going to start working on a documentary proposal, with the help of UCLA MFA student, M.K. Asante.

I Don't Know...

I don't know about other writers, but there comes a point where I get tired of reading my manuscript. I mean, I WROTE the damn thing, so I know the story, the characters, and how it ends. And when you have to read it, and read it, and read it, over and over, it becomes a bit too much. I love my story and I'm proud of my story. But damn, I could use a rest from it. I'm still copyediting, and it looks like I'll be up all night. I'll email the finished copy to my editor in the morning and then FedEx her a hard copy. I'm burnt and craving milk chocolate.

All nighter...

I've been working on FWB and apparently, I have an aversion to commas, as the copyeditor has had to add thousands to the manuscript. Well, everyone has their weaknesses. I've just hit the 100 page mark. That would be cool, but I just realized that my editor repaginated my work with a larger font. So I'm actually behind. I have to send it back out by 6pm tomorrow, so I'll be up all night revising. There's nothing large, but it is just monotonous. Each page, you want to scan for editorial marks and also you want to make sure you interpret them correctly. I remember most of the symbols, but a brother had to pull out the guide for one. My brain is going to mush.

An Old Salon Article on the Black Elite...

• B l a c k • b u t n o t l i k e m e
A JOURNALIST SLOUCHES INTO A PARTY CELEBRATING
---THE BLACK ELITE -- WHATEVER THAT IS.-
BY JILL NELSON

The nation might be slouching toward the millennium, but it was the best I could do to slouch into the Harvard Club. I was invited to a fete for "Our Kind of People: Inside America's Black Upper Class," a new book by attorney and writer Lawrence Otis Graham. It was hard not to suspect that as much as the evening was about the book, it was even more another instance of modern-day communal branding, in which instead of Massa burning his mark upon our flesh, we put it on our backs. Or the covers of our books. Declare ourselves important and in doing so, as they say in Narcotics Anonymous, "compare ourselves out." Make sure everyone knows we're not them, they're not our kind of people, whoever they are. It was the upscale, bourgeois, literate equivalent of what Tommy Hilfiger garb is to the working class.

I kept my head down going in, hoping not to be recognized by any of my radical cronies. (In the interests of full disclosure, several family members and I are mentioned in "Our Kind of People," although none of them ever met Graham. I am pissed that I'm identified twice as "former Washington Post reporter," a job I quit in 1990, but it's apparently my only accomplishment that matters to Graham's kind of people.) I was ambivalent about both the event and the book. I grew up in a family in which class bonding was frowned upon, in an era of -- so we thought -- class-busting social transformation. Yet here I was, 30 years after, attending a party to celebrate the black elite. Me, I just wanted to know who they are. Or who the writer thinks they are. Or, at my most cynical, what the hell type of black folks identify themselves as "the black elite."

Inside, I'm sucked into a large, wood-paneled room reeking, perhaps of old money, but definitely of fried foods. Waiters whip by offering snifters of cognac (the event was underwritten by Hennessy cognac -- no low-class purveyors of malt liquor "40s" here) and martini glasses of Brandy Alexanders -- made, of course, with Hennessy. On the way to the corner bar to get a Diet Coke, I manage to decline the crab balls, cold canapés, cheese, crackers and fruit. My near downfall, being from a people in which the three characteristics of our favorite foods are greasy, salty and fried, is a platter of what I suspect are miniature egg rolls nestled around a bowl of that thick, orangish dipping stuff. "Egg rolls?" I eagerly ask the waiter, fingers poised over the platter. "No. Spring rolls," he corrects. I snatch my fingers back, appetite gone but wiser. They sure as hell looked like egg rolls to me, but when you're noshing with the elite, they're spring.

Sipping my soda, I introduce myself to the man on my left, a rather intriguing cross between Yaphet Kotto and Truman Capote, wearing thick black-framed glasses with bright blue lenses. "What brought you here?" I ask cheerily, hoping for a discourse on our kind of people. "Someone told me I should be here, but I'm on my way to the Maya Angelou presentation at the Waldorf," he says in a voice somewhere between a yawn and a drawl, looking over my shoulder. I wonder if always being on your way to someplace more important than where you are is a hallmark of the elite, but attempts at further conversation are both boring and futile. The mofo -- er, I mean, cad -- won't even make eye contact. I move on when it occurs to me to slap him upside his bald head, seize his lapels and scream, "I may not be your type of people, but I am somebody!"

Luckily, I meet Audrey Thorne, member of the greater New York chapter of the Links, a black women's organization profiled in the book. Sharp as a mortal can get in a black suit, ropy rhinestone necklace -- could anything that thick be diamonds? -- matching earrings and a crown of silver hair, Ms. Thorne is not on her way someplace else. She's exactly where she's at. "I think the book is wonderful because it has so much history, it's enlightened me to so many things I didn't know about. Race, slavery, it's enlightening to me." She's friendly and looks me in the eye so happily I don't have the heart to ask how it comes to pass that a woman in her 70s needs to be enlightened about race or slavery. "We're talking about one of those children who is clearly the essence of good things happening to a human being," chimes in a woman sharing her table, but before I can ask her exactly what those good things are, I see an opening in the circle around the author and take it.

Lawrence Otis Graham is slight, impeccably dressed, his sharp nose the product of plastic surgery. He greets me effusively, professes to be a fan and we bond briefly, not around class, but the rigors of book tours. I feel the crowd moving toward the right, luckily not in the direction of either Clarence Thomas or better munchies at the Waldorf, but the auditorium, where Graham and three panelists -- Dr. Marcella Maxwell, former chair of the NYC Commission on Human Rights and on the Status of Women and Links member; Dr. R. Chester Redhead, dentist, professor and longtime member of the Boule; and Anne Griffith, an attorney at Battle Fowler LLP -- will participate in what Hennessy bills as a "fireside chat" about the black upper class, moderated by Fox 5 anchorwoman Carol Jenkins.

On the way, I run into a writer whose father was an extremely successful jurist. "I have heard no buzz, but based upon history, I don't want my picture taken," she confides. As we snicker, I try to figure out how I can get the film from the photographer who snapped me at the door. "I'm here because I'm interested. Whatever these people are supposed to be, they should be people like my family. People who went to Vail, other places, and belonged to clubs, but there was an awareness of who we are and how we got where we are. Not just people trying to be like white folks." Before I can comment that many white folks don't want to be like white folks, I realize the auditorium's filling up rapidly in an elite version of bum-rushing the door. It's imperative I grab one of the rapidly vanishing seats. I may not know much, but I do know that no kind of people want to be left standing.

Terrie Williams, founder of the PR firm who arranged the event, welcomes us, graciously dedicates the evening to former N.Y. Amsterdam News gossip columnist Cathy Connor, and in listing the many places Connor covered commits the faux pas "our kind of people" -- or aspirants -- would never make: She says "Oaks Bluff" rather than "Oak Bluffs." Half the 200 people crammed into the room holler in unison, "Oak!" "I don't hang out there," shrugs a nonplused Williams, moving right along.

With the exception of Graham, who seems to revel in a celebration of class that is essentially the Negro equivalent of the worst of Caucasian snobbery -- focused on skin color, hair texture, profession and membership in social clubs -- the panelists exhibit varying degrees of discomfort at essentially being asked to break out their crème de la black crop credentials before a group of people composed of the successful, the curious, the indifferent, the hostile, the wannabes and, that staple of New York events, the moochers. Wisely, Maxwell and Redhead focus on the importance of education for upward mobility, skirting the festering issues of exclusion based on color, hair texture, club membership and pedigree, whatever that means. Still, it's hard not to squirm when Redhead tells a story about not wanting to take his dad, a working-class immigrant who supported him in becoming a doctor, to the famous Harlem bar the Red Rooster because "You split verbs and dangle modifiers." When his father asked his son why when he wanted to borrow money the way he talked didn't bother him, Redhead replied, "Because I'd rather say 'I is rich' than 'I am poor.'"

Anne Griffith, at 28 the youngest member of the panel, was also the most uncomfortable. "This book has given me a chance to examine where I've come from, what my values are and where I'd like to go," Griffith says, carefully choosing her words. "And to contemplate how I feel about various titles and images."

It would have been fascinating to discuss the ways in which over the last two decades Americans of all colors define, label and separate ourselves into tribes based on varying notions of class. Having lost faith in the possibility of equality, inclusion and social transformation by any means other than the almighty dollar, we rush to buy ourselves out of a bad situation. Still, leave it to Graham to bring it on down, if not to that dark-skinned, big-lipped, low-class, not-invited-to-join-Jack-and-Jill home, to its most superficial. Color, hair, cotillions and debutante balls are what he wants to talk about, the parameters of his own insular experience of the black elite, devoid of any connection to a larger world. "We were fighting over who's going to commandeer the yacht while black people were getting their butts kicked and Martin Luther King was getting shot," Graham shamelessly announces, as if indifference to King's assassination was proof of pedigree as opposed to an embarrassingly disingenuous admission of ignorance. Ditto his joyful comment, "Isn't it wonderful that we too as black people have dynasties? It's not just the Roosevelts and the Kennedys!" Am I the only one struck by the pathos, irony and inaccuracy of this statement, or simply the only audience member sucking her teeth?

And even if it's a good line when he says, "Until I was 12 years old I thought that when white people went to Martha's Vineyard, they were just passing through," in the end it's just another sign of how smug and self-referential Graham's world and book is. He posits himself and his how-much-money-does-your-Daddy-make, what-clubs-do-you-belong-to, are-you-lighter-than-a-brown-paper-bag worldview at the center and then defines everyone and everything else according to this marginal and misguided perspective.

Then it's time for audience Q&A. Or, more appropriately with black people, T&A -- testimony and attitude. Even though Graham cheerily embraces and celebrates his snobbery, apparently the panel has pricked a collective nerve, as several women rise to testify to the harmful effects of their exclusion -- based upon skin color, geography or economics -- from Graham's light-skinned, apolitical, ahistorical elite. Thank goodness for J. Bruce Llewellyn, president and CEO of Coca-Cola of Pennsylvania, who cuts through the morass of exclusivity with a voice of realism and sanity. "The reason we were in Oak Bluffs or Sag Harbor is because the white community would not let us buy property anywhere else. I'm happy about the fact that we do have these things, but education is the only way out of this mess. The other thing is, you can straighten your hair, you can be light or dark, but when white people see you, you're still black."

But it's Ed Lover, morning DJ on the popular radio station Hot 97, who evokes applause and cheers when he stands, clad in sweats and nylon parka and snarls, "It's sad and disgusting that black people would shut other people out because they're darker than a brown paper bag. If I had to be part of the black upper class and shut my people out, I'd rather be a thug for life!" Although the truth is that the notion that successful black folks' choices are either white-faced minstrelsy or designer thug-dom points out how far we haven't come and the need for serious discussion. Not here, not now.

Moderator Jenkins wraps up the session before the verbal fisticuffs move to another level, attendants open oak doors and we swarm back to the reception area to scarf assorted late-night fats and, of course, more cognac. The buzz in the room is confused and unrequited, as if an important topic had been broached, clumsily handled, then retracted. My best friend L.E. is ready to split, her simple mission unaccomplished. The daughter of professionals with a home on the Vineyard who belong to the right clubs, her issue ain't color, class or cotillions. "There aren't any good-looking single men here, of any color, with money or without it," she declares, yanking on her coat. "I'm going home."

Jill Nelson is the author of "Volunteer Slavery" and "Straight, No Chaser." Her last piece for Salon was a profile of Richard Pryor.

SALON | Feb. 4, 1999

Copyright © 2000 Salon.com All rights reserved.

Here I go...

Okay, I'm on page 12 of my 234 FWB manuscript pages. To my surprise, I don't have that many mistakes, so things are going swimmingly. I have one line that I guess my copyeditor objected to, but I don't think there should be a problem.

BTW, I know I have a bunch of folks who read my blog, but if you don't comment, I don't know you're there. So if you are enjoying the blog, please take time to leave a comment of some sort. If not, it makes me feel like I'm talking to myself. LOL

Finished!

This morning, I passed my motorcycle class, so now it's on to the DMV for the motorcyle written test, and then to my license. I'm pretty jazzed because I've been wanting to ride, and now I'm on my way. And I get my bike this summer. I needed a diversion from writing. It seems like I've had one deadline after another for the past three months, plus projects in progress. They're all still there, but I feel more refreshed, even though I'm exhausted from ten hours of riding motorcycles.