Friday, June 23, 2006

Ahh...the mighty hand of Karl Rove...

I'm a Democrat, and boy, sometimes I think my party leadership LIKES getting their asses handed to them. I'm serious. See, I have a theory, and although it works for sports, it goes to politics too. In sports, if I'm accurately predicting the plays of a team, then the coach needs to be fired. Immediately. Same with politics. The Democratic leadership is about to fall apart before the same Karl Rove tactics. I mean, the man hasn't changed his stripes since GWB was downing Jim Beam in Midland. Okay, for those of you not following along (that means you John Kerry, Hillary Clinton, and the rest of you milquetoast Dems).

1. Karl Rove goes playground on the Democrats, calling them Cut and Runners. The media, like lemmings (hey, that's you Chris Matthews and your sidekick stand in Norah "I'm just a giggly little girl" O'Donnell) repeat it ad nauseum. Do the Democrats come back with anything tough? How about Goddamn Cowards? No, that probably didn't test well in Democratic polling. The best someone could come up with? Liars and dyers. Yeps, trash talk by committee. We could have come up with something better in the fourth grade. Karl wins again.

2. Karl Rove and his Congressional lackeys, put together an Orwellian resolution whose wording reminds me of all of those failed commie states that would have "Democratic" in their official names. Do the Democrats vote against it and then flood the market with commercials ridiculing the Republicans and their shamocracy? Nope. The Dems are so frightened about being "cut and runner" (I don't want to get all Art of War on you, but never let your enemy define you. If you do, you're dead before you open your mouth) that they vote for it. Karl wins again.

3. What do the Dems do then? Well, John Kerry decides that he wants the microphone again. God no. Please. Stay away from the mike. What does he do? Well, he says the troops should pull out in December. AND THEN, he decides the next day to back away from that date, and move it to next July. What does that make him? Yep, Karl Rove wins again, and he didn't even have to say flip flopper. Kerry said it for him. Anyway, Kerry's amendment dies a quick death (again Kerry, please go away). Karl Rove wins again.

4. Now, there's today's story that Black Muslims are planning a terrorist plot, and the media orgasms in their coverage. Now, not to be cynical, but don't you find it strange that this comes out now? I mean, haven't we seen this before? Continue to ramp up the fear factor and then trot out the President so that he can say that we're fighting them over... Don't you think Rove made a call to the FBI and asked what case could be closed today? Do you think any Democrat will have the balls to question it? Not on your life. The Democrats are a thousand people on a conference call, making a ton of noise, but no sense.

Game, set and match for Rove. You see, Rove doesn't care about defining the Republicans. Why should he? Most people either like or despise them. Nope, he's going to define the Democrats. You see, this is going to be a codliver oil election. People who don't want to vote Republican will, because the Dems just can't get their act together. Ah, maybe things will change in 2008

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